It's a Guy Thing,
Review by Molly
In part one of his revealing work Dr. John King discusses his own story which includes his father becoming a parent at only eighteen year of age. Dr. King was driven to not repeat the pattern that is prevalent in so many homes today of fathers who are too young for the job, or of fathers who are absent from their children's lives. Dr. King is a conference, business and church speaker who is unrelenting in his passion regarding men's and leadership issues.
Part 1 includes the realities that too many children are in search of a dad while being raised in a single parent home. Dr. King offers the notion that in one generation men have moved from being the mainstay of the family to a person who can demolish lives, hopes and dreams for their children. And he suggests that men knuckle down, and see that the pattern reverses itself in one generation. I especially liked reading King' poem regarding Fathers and Coaches.
Part 2 offers suggestions for parenting. King presents six keys to raising kids, the five As of adolescence, the necessity for physical affection, how to discipline, and the importance for honoring the mother of the family. He suggests that girls tend to marry men who are like their fathers and that sons will emulate dad when they become adults.
I enjoyed reading the section in which Writer King presents the importance of DOING with your kids as opposed to just being there. Fatherhood is not a spectator sport, kids thrive on parenting that includes being with and doing things with dad. As a teacher I often see the result of what happens when dad is there in the flesh and still missing from the child's life.
It's a Guy Thing is an easily read work comprising 183 jam packed pages. I like the format of short quick reads suitable for carrying the book along for a quick read as the reader is waiting for a child after school, or as a topic for a meeting at church when the discussion centers around men and their role in the family. Sprinkled among the various short vignettes are quotes from notables: including Bette Davis' famous "If you have never been hated by your children you have never been a parent". Mario Cuomo recounts how his life was shaped by watching his hardworking emigrant father.
The work presents the belief that in our culture the absence of fathers in the home is rampant. Dr. King is firm in his notion that, if the problem is to be solved it is men who change the cycle as they reevaluate their roles as men, husbands, and fathers. Where there is no positive male role model in the home, boys grow up lacking the essential guiding principles for their becoming well adjusted husbands, fathers, and members of society.
As with all books of a self help nature there are parts that all readers will be in agreement with and will like and there are parts they will not. The one additional chapter I would like to have seen is one that addresses the single parent home that is broken not by desertion, divorce or abandonment but by death. Not every widow with children remarries, and a chapter to help guide the men in society for filling that gap would be beneficial. Boy Scout Leaders, members of the religious community to which the family belongs and the like can and do step into the breach to provide the role models for boys we are raised in a single family home where the father has died.
It's a Guy Thing has a place on the reading list of fathers and their wives as well. It will prove an excellent resource for use by school counselors and therapists as they offer guidance and something to read to clients. The book is written for men, it has much to offer adolescent young men who may be contemplating marriage and family along with the ones who view a pregnant girlfriend as "it is her baby." I plan to take my copy to offer to our school counselor for her use as she works with the high school students in our district. I was sent a trade paperback for review. Happy to recommend.
These reviews are personal opinions only and in no way reflect other readers' opinions of the books discussed.
Book Rating System