The Amateur Marriage

Anne Tyler

2/27/2005

Michael Anton is working in the family grocery store on the day Pearl Harbor is bombed. Pauline is brought into the store with a head wound. She was injured while following her feelings to jump off a street car to join the young men who were going to sign up in the army. Michael is smitten. When she is cleaned up, he impulsively goes out into the street with her. Within a year or so the couple is married. Pauline is the first and last impulsive action Michael appears to take in his lite.

After he is out of the army they live above the store in the Polish neighborhood of Baltimore. Pauline wants to get out. Michael can't understand why. HIs mother lives with them from their return from their honeymoon to Mother Anton's death many years later. Pauline is good with her mother-in-law, and the women become friends of a sort.

The couple cannot get along without fighting. Pauline almost backed out of the wedding at the last minute. Michael was able to cajole her back into the wedding. They fight over where to live. they have screaming arguments, then have happy reunions. They don't argue and solve problems. They have fights that last for days. Their children grow up watching the strange relationship their parents have.

They have a fairly normal life for a couple from their time. They live the American dream. He owns his own business, they eventually buy a nice home in the suburbs, and have three children. The Sixties claims one of their children. But another gets married and has grandchildren, and another is a lawyer. Michael and Pauline also end up raising an abandoned grandchild. The difference with Michael and Pauline Anton, though, is that they never seem to mature in their marriage. Sixty years after they met, Michael characterizes their marriage as an "amateur marriage".

This book was a surprise. I don't remember why I reserved it at the library. Did I read a good review, or did I just choose it because it was an Anne Tyler book? When I picked it up I read the back cover and wondered if I would like it. It didn't sound promising.

The first third of the book tells the story of Pauline's and Michael's meeting, courtship and early marriage. It was interesting. I wasn't pulled in though. Then I found myself wondering about the characters when I couldn't read. Their story picks up after a few years, ends that vignette, then the next chapter jumps to a few years later. The reader doesn't see the birth of their children, the purchase of the home in the suburbs, the growth of the business, the death of Mother Anton, or his retirement. Yet all those milestones figure into the next chapter of their story. The book doesn't keep life fair. Instead, it is like real life, when figures appear too late to change what has happened. At the end of the book I kept muttering "It isn't fair" to myself.

Tyler has portrayed the Antons' lives with realism and a deft hand. The tone of the novel is never dark despite of the problems over the years. It is not too cheery even when they are celebrating the good times. After I finished this book I was reading one of those "best books of 2004" lists. The Amateur Marriage was on that list. I wasn't surprised. This is an excellent book.

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